The Second Trimester

14 weeks pregnant today with two beautiful little lives inside of me. Suddenly, the quote from an Austin Powers movie "Get In My Bellllaaayyyy" takes on a whole new meaning.

I'm enjoying the little changes, small twinges of feeling (maybe baby movement?) and the idea that there are 3 hearts inside of me right now. Three people that love and three people that are loved.

Last night, Mike put his ear up to my belly and tried to hear them. After placing his ear on a couple different spots, he only came out with hearing the gurgling of my stomach. Then gently kissed my belly as I scooted off Praise Team practice. Amazing to think that his children are inside of my body. What a beautiful moment.

Singing is feeling a bit different, now. My breath is shorter and it's hard for me to stand for too long without feeling like my belly is stretching down my abdominal muscles. They have given me a "back-up" stool just in case for Sunday mornings. I can't help but feel like I'm being "weak", but immediately remind myself that it's no longer about how strong or fit I am, it's about me taking care of my body and my health for the health of our babies. There is no room for selfishness, just a whole lot of humility.

I no longer have control over what I eat, how hard I can exercise and being able to push my body to it's limits. It's this sense of ultimate surrender. I am at the will of my children - many would say that this will not change, no matter how old they are. When they need nutrients, I feel hunger. It doesn't matter if I had eaten only 10 minutes prior - hunger means eat. They tell me when I'm exercising too hard... when my heart rate jumps quickly to the restriction that my doctors have given me, they say, "Slow down, Mom. We're getting tired!" It's not about me anymore. And you know what? I think that is the best thing for me.

Surrender the control. Sit down, relax. Breathe.

Don't allow other people and their hurt or pain or frustration cause hurt or pain or frustration inside of you.

The babies feel it all.

What a wonderful journey these precious lives have taken me on! It's a journey of self-discovery, or self-preservation and of a complete loss of control. These lives have helped me take time to learn about who I am; the gifts and talents I should improve upon, and the challenges and issues that I need to deal with. The most beautiful physical, emotional and spiritual journey that God

can give.

The Stand

by: Hillsong

You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do

But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours