A Brief History

So, we're having twins! But not just any ole' twins. These twins are identical. One egg, one sperm, an embryo that was just strong enough, by chance, that it split into two perfect babies. Amazing! Even more amazing is the way in which it happened. No, I won't go into THOSE details, but the context of trying to have children in the first place, I will.

We have wanted to start a family since the very beginning. After allowing our honeymoon period of being married for a year, we decided to stop preventing. We were aware that it might be harder for us from the start. So we were very proactive in getting help from Fertility Specialist in Grand Rapids. Lots of testing and some very less than desirable interventions proved that still, it would be a longer road for us. I would never wish infertility on my worst enemy. I can only speak for how I felt during that time. I knew that I had the desire, placed in my heart and soul by my Creator, to be a mother. But for some reason, unknown to me, my desires were not being fulfilled very easily. I felt like my body was not able to do what it was created to do; bring forth life. Here I was, the perfectionist/control-freak, without any control what-so-ever. I knew what I (we) desired, and I knew how to achieve it, but I couldn't make it happen! What the heck!! It's so easy for so many people, and so many people are blessed and hate every minute of it. People take for granted having children, when there are so many women out there who just can't. I questioned my desire, I tried to think about what I was doing wrong as to why God wouldn't want me to be happy. We went through treatments that failed. The intimacy involved in bringing forth life was completely erased due to the medical nature of the procedures. They were invasive, always a 45 minute drive away, and expensive. Something that should be so easy, was just so hard. We knew that the next steps would be even more costly, harder on my body and could be very hard on our marriage. We were pretty much stuck doing things that we could barely afford, and they weren't working. Then, when preparing for another medical intervention, I found out that I had an ovarian cyst which sat me "in the corner" for treatment until they resolved on their own. I was not able to take the medicine that was supposed to get me pregnant. Trying to be as positive as possible, I looked forward to uncontrolled Diet Pepsi consumption, no medicine, and just to be "normal" for a month.

Enter, God.

At the end of my "month off" I took a pregnancy test before heading north for a wine tasting weekend, just to be safe. So at 3am with squinty eyes and a full bladder I coordinated myself enough to take a test. TWO LINES! Holy cow - we had 13 months of negative tests. 13 (sometimes more, when I thought I may have took them to early) tests that practically screamed out to me, "No you are NOT pregnant, stupid. Nice try! See ya next month." I decided to wake up Mike and asked him to come look at something. Out of a dead sleep, my poor husband shuffled behind me into the bathroom where I asked him, "Do you see two lines?" He yawned and said "Yea, there are two lines." I waited for it to set in... He followed with "Wait, what does that mean?" And I looked at him again...he quickly responded, "Well, TAKE ANOTHER ONE!" Unfortunately I had nothing left in my bladder so we had to wait another few hours. I tried to go back to sleep. Nice try! Instead I went to the computer and googled pregnancy tests, false positives, etc, etc. Yea, there pretty much would never be a "false positive". Holy Crap! 2 hours later, I took another one, and there again were two lines. I wasn't making it up the first time! I'm not crazy (for once)! Mike was there, ready to see the second test. "I can't believe that we're pregnant. I never thought this would happen" he said. He stood there, the proud father to be and asked me "So, does it feel like a boy?" I said, "I don't know! It doesn't feel like anything right now!" Then, as he nodded his head in a confident, triumphant manner, he said "Good Job, Baby" and raised his hand in the air for me to give him a high-five.